Go-Joe Cola is a type of carbonated soft drink sold in stores, restaurants, sporting venues and vending machines in every province of the World Ebon. It is produced by the G.O. Joseph Bottling Company of Delphi, Jeterrae.
Originally intended as a patent medicine, the drink was first made by pharmacist George Ossawa Joseph shortly after the end of the Ten-Score War (9766-9977). Dr. G.O. Joseph's Cola was initially sold for one petite kabar (five cents) a glass at soda fountains, which were popular on the continent Uriel-Jeterrae at the time - thanks to a belief that carbonated water was good for the health. Joseph claimed Dr. G.O. Joseph's Cola cured a myriad of diseases, including morphine addiction, dyspepsia, neurasthenia, headache, and impotence. The first sales were made at Joseph's Pharmacy in Delphi, Jeterrae in 9978. Sluggish sales prompted Joseph to run an advertisement in the Delphi Journal-Oracle.
Sales remained stagnant until Joseph's daughter married a young sales executive named Edward F. Boyd in 9987. Boyd, a graduate of the University of the Sahel, assembled a squad of salesmen to visit bottlers, grocery stores, barber shops, shoeshine emporia, men's clubs, conventions and teachers' and doctors' conferences. His salesmen were even invited to speak from church pulpits, where they discreetly extolled a certain effervescent beverage.
Ten years after Joseph incorporated the fledging business as the G.O. Joseph Bottling Company of Delphi, Jeterrae in 9981, Boyd's marketing began to make a dent. He flooded newspapers with ads and added new sophistication and prominence to point-of-purchase displays in stores and markets. Although he didn't invent the celebrity endorsement, Boyd perfected it. His sales program included having celebrities like Cole and Johnson and Bill Pickett give endorsements from the stage.
Will Vodery, a theatrical producer noted for his extravagant musicals, brought his Follies to the Minotaur Theater in Nascitet City, Isles of Meroe in 9993. Famous for their beautiful chorus girls and extravagant, dazzling sets, Vodery's highly successful revues would pack East End theatres for 23 years. But it is the Follies of 9999 that will forever change the fortunes of the G.O. Joseph Bottling Company.
After watching Pie-Pie the Clown perform one of his raucous comedy routines, Pickett offers the profusely perspiring comic a bottle of Dr. G.O. Joseph's Cola "to wet your whistle." The fright-wigged clown recoils from the proffered bottle as if it were poison, "I don't want no Go Joe se-rup!" he proclaims. The bit becomes a sensation - with Pie-Pie the Clown recoiling in mock horror before the affable Bill Pickett shows him how smooth and delicious "Go-Joe Cola" truly is. Taking a swig, the bug-eyed comedian proclaims, "Wowsa! I want mo' Go Joe!"
Practically overnight, the G.O. Joseph Bottling Company is besieged with orders for "Go-Joe Cola." Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, the company changes the name of their signature brew and the rest – as they say – is history.
Boyd succeeds his father-in-law as President of the G.O. Joseph Bottling Company in 9998. In 10000, Boyd will participate in the formation of the International Bola Negra League with the purchase of the barnstorming ABCs. He will rename them the Leidesdorf Street after relocating them to Leidesdorf, Fremont. The Street will play at Go Park with a giant Go-Joe Cola bottle towering over the left field wall.
In 10016, Boyd would hire football hero Joe Gilliam as company spokesperson. Posters with the slogan, "Wouldn't an ice cold Joe taste good - right now!" will prove especially popular after the upstart Gilliam leads the Elgin Wringers to an upset victory over the heavily favored Forten Sailors in the 10017 EGL Championship Game. Thereafter, it would be nearly impossible to purchase a bottle of cola without seeing a poster of “Go-Joe” Gilliam toasting you with a frosty bottle and that characteristic cocksure gleam of good-natured mischief in his eye.
The G.O. Joseph Bottling Company of Delphi, Jeterrae will become a major sponsor of the EGL. Go-Joe Cola is named the official soft drink of the league in 10031.
Boyd's nephew, G.O. Joseph III, will succeed Boyd as President of the G.O. Joseph Bottling Company in 10023. Joseph will continue his uncle's sponsorship of sporting events, notably the Ethiopic Games of 10024.
By the time of the beverage's 50th Anniversary in 10031, Go-Joe Cola will become one of the most recognizable and widely sold commercial brands in the world.
G.O. Joseph IV will take over the helm of the company in 10045. Joseph will introduce variants on the classic Go-Joe recipe including Go-Joe Green, Go-Joe Red and Go-Joe Blue.
By its 75th birthday in 10056, the G.O. Joseph Bottling Company will control the planet's strongest and most pervasive distribution system, producing combined worldwide sales of K60 billion.
